14 DAYS DONE….

I’ve successfully done 14 buserelin injections now and 6 blood thinning injections. I’m not sleeping, I officially have menopausal symptoms and feel like hell, but  I know this is SO worth it, I’m still positive just incredibly grumpy with everyone. I have people intolerance!!

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“well, that wasn’t bad”

Buserelin injections started 4 days ago, hubby set them up but let me inject, we’re in this together 🙂

Monday morning was Endo-scratch, uncomfortable is the polite word for the procedure but I survived and had a little chuckle to myself when hubby commented that it wasn’t too bad…. who was lay on the bed with legs in stirrups?? lol

I don’t think I’ve been too hormonal but one of my best friends bought me flowers to cheer me up today , so maybe I am??

Grumpy pants 

Wow how moody am I??? Not even started menopausal injections yet (that’s tomorrow) scared nervous & excited however my eyes leak at every moment, I can’t stop them- leaking as I write this 😢😢😢

Making babies should be fun, quite frankly this the least fun thing I can think about…. 

How am I going to keep my stress levels down when the can’t stop beating myself up about it??? 

Someone was telling me how it took 6mths to get pregnant , try 7.5 years!!! I’m so angry and it’s not their fault, they know nothing about me or what is about to happen. Yup another emotion!! 😡

2 of my friends this week have asked if we’re still having IVF , kind of them ? errrr no! It was whispered on both occasions like it is some dirty word, can u tell I’ve had a bad week? 

I’ve bought a journal to start tomorrow, what’s happening etc…. And one day in the future my baby can read how s/he was made, how precious and loved and very much wanted they are 

Xxxxx

Sunflowers 🌻

Ok, so I took a rest, icsi was consuming my life but, now I’m back  X

I loving nurtured my sunflower seeds until they were ready to grow in the garden, 1 by 1 they died until I’m on down to my last 1 …. I had 8!! 

It only takes one ❤️

My sunflower has bought me back here in positive mind

Injections start in 8 more days, I’m ready for this, bring it on xxxxx

Excited!!

So, hubby is off for his sperm analysis and bloods and our appointment is through to see consultant. It’s all happening faster than I thought, still scared and nervous but mega excited too. 

It’s Mother’s Day today and normally it’s like being shot in the heart, this year I’m full of hope xxx

Day 4

So tomorrow is day 4 of my cycle so I’ll be off to get a massive amount of blood taken for the clinic including the £80 test that I can’t really remember what it’s for???

Its also lambing season on our farm, my most emotionally draining time 😞

How do I feel??

Such a mix of emotion after today’s appointment?

An internal scan failed to find my left ovary??? So much info given, blood forms to take away ready for a set cycle day, £80 poorer for a new blood test recommended as well as other tests that are new and all cost.

GP appointment booked to discuss weaning off all my medication, it’s going to be a long couple of months preparing for this, we want this so bad!!!